Spreading Our Wings

The A3R family is definitely in an uncomfortable growth spurt. All of us. All at the same time. We're spreading our wings, testing our limits and experiencing the type of physical and emotional growth that can only come when you're also experiencing some level of pain.

For the first time since birth, we are having a difficult time keeping Miss Alexa in clothes. I'm starting to think maybe we should stop feeding her homemade organic baby food and organic formula. Her legs seem like they are a mile long, her babbles are starting to sound like mysterious words and she is dangerously close to crawling. She plays so hard that she generally can't stay awake more than an hour or two during the day. She eats. Plays hard. Naps. Repeat. And I swear every time I get this girl up from a nap she's grown more. For her, the hard part is not being able to do everything she wants to do. She's figured out how to move across a room by rolling front to back - back to front. But she knows full well the most efficient way to move is crawling and gets frustrated when she can't make her way over to a toy on her belly.

Look how tall I am Daddy!

Picard and I are struggling with heading into the new chapter of our lives. I was offered the full-time position and will start February 9. We've been interviewing nanny candidates and have it narrowed down to a short list. To say none of this is easy is the understatement of the world. I feel very good about returning to work, however I feel a crushing sense of responsibility to find the right person to care for Alexa. I had the second migraine of my life this past Sunday. It was like my brain couldn't take the pressure anymore and my head was going to split open just to let some of the steam out. I really can't put into words how important and difficult this process has been. It's led to tears on more than one occasion, and those of you who know me best know that it takes a lot to push me to tears.

Even though the responsibility I feel to give Alexa the best possible life (as I have promised not only to her, but to her birth parents as well) can be overwhelming at times; I wouldn't change it for the world. Because every day when I turn on the news and see the steep economic decline of our nation, I feel the icy fingers of fear and depression grasping at me. All it takes is one smile, one babble or one raised eyebrow from this little ray of sunshine we're raising and I forgot the outside world exists.

It's somewhat of a lame phrase, but no pain - no gain. I feel that in every fiber of my being. I know that just because a decision is right, it doesn't mean it's easy. I don't think you find a passionately fulfilled life by expecting life's choices to be easy. So, as a family, we'll spread our wings and thank the Lord that we have even been given this opportunity to grow together.

Of course I read! I was born to be a book nerd. Have you met my parents?

Ok. Sometimes I read books like this too.

Whoa! That toy looks totally different from this angle!

You're just jealous of my sweet mohawk!