Motherhood: Not for the Faint of Heart

Oh Mama, I don't feel so good.

Christmas is next week?!?! Where did this month go?? Ohhhhhhhhh, that's right. We've been battling Alexa's first post-hospital illness for the past two weeks. Both Daddy and Alexa picked up colds after our trip to visit family over Thanksgiving. Daddy got better pretty quickly. Alexa used her first cold as a segue to her first ear infection. It's been fun! NOT!

The first week in December Alexa had the classic cold symptoms. Sneezing. Coughing. Lower energy. But, she was still eating, sleeping and playing well so we didn't take her to the doctor. By the second week in December we knew something else was brewing. We didn't see the classic ear tugging or lack of sleep, but Alexa just started acting differently. I had this whole internal mental struggle about taking her to the doctor. I don't want to be the mom who takes her baby in with every sniffle. But, I also don't want to be the mom who doesn't take her kid to the doctor until it's pneumonia or something more serious.

My decision became clear when Alexa started crying and screaming 2 oz. into her lunchtime bottle the second week. That's not my wee. Crying and screaming are not her style. So, I called the doctor and got her in that same day. When we went to the doctor's office, I totally got the new mom treatment. (Which wasn't really the doctor's fault, because Alexa poured on the charm with bubbly giggles and mile wide smiles the second the doctor walked into the room.) Alexa's doctor said, wow, she looks like a healthy little girl, but let's check around. Weight? Good. Belly? Good. Throat? Good. Left ear? Good. Right ear? Oh, yep it's red. She's got her first ear infection. I remember holding my breath as the doctor went through each check. Of course I didn't want Alexa to be sick. But, at the same time, I knew if she was ill I would have a reasonable explanation for her odd behavior. So, when the doctor said it was an ear infection my response was a weird mix of relief and sadness for my little sweet pea.

Mama, if you don't call the doctor, I will!

Alexa started antibiotics that day, which leads me back to the title of my post. Good God! I can't tell you how many times over the past week we've thought we killed the poor kid. My heart palpitations may be permanent.

Sooo, I gave Alexa her first dose of medicine, right? Well, not thinking, I just filled up the syringe and shot it in her mouth. Uh, duh. So, Alexa shot it right back at me. It didn't even occur to me that she might not swallow it. So, with more care, I filled the syringe back up half way and this time carefully and slowly injected it at the back of her mouth. She swallowed this time, so I knew we got it in her. Picard and I took her upstairs to get her all settled for bedtime. Right as we placed her into bed her face turned bright red, puffed up and big soppy tears started running down her cheeks. She was crying, but it was almost like she couldn't breathe to cry. My first thought was OMG, we've overdosed her! Second thought: OMG, it's a life threatening allergic reaction! For about three seconds I was absolutely certain we must have endangered her life in some way. Well, as I hastily scooped her out of the bed I got a whiff of the real problem. Girl was constipated. Her face was red from straining, which increased the pressure in her head, which made her ears hurt more.

Ahhh. It's bad enough here. But, wait, there's more. I make it worse. So, since Alexa is constipated I decide to give her applesauce and rice cereal. I'm not a juice mom. I think juice is an evil death sugar beverage that kids just don't really need. The problem with my carefully crafted anti-juice theory is that instead of giving my poor baby the hydration and apple juice she needed, I was giving her one half of the BRAT (bananas, rice, applesauce & toast) diet. The BRAT diet is for DIARRHEA. Not constipation! I was making it worse for the poor kid. I used to think my baby's cry of pain was the worst sound in the world. But, her constipation was sooo bad, she couldn't even cry. She would turn all red, big stormy tears would drain down her chubby cheeks and she'd just whimper. I spent two whole days just holding and comforting her.


Sooo, that's where I've been. Alexa is finally doing better. Her last day of antibiotics is tomorrow. It's been an experience, that's for sure. You live. You learn. Then you get a pacemaker for your weakened heart.

The perfect medicine: snuggling with Daddy and kitty.