Month Three - Humans are Highly Illogical

Alexa hit a major growth spurt in October and became lovably chubby.

This past month Alexa took a major leap on the independence scale. She discovered her hands, feet and mouth and endless hours of self-entertainment ensued. She started babbling like a playful chimp. Her high pitched, hearty responses to my nonsensical stories renewed a belly laugh I didn't know I had anymore. Her smiles bring me such deep warmth it feels like I've taken a shot of tequila. There's nothing I love more than watching this little beauty grow and blossom.

When you bring your baby home from the hospital, you long for a few moments to get some things done almost as much as you long to discover her blooming personality and watch her grow. It's so funny that God has designed it so that both happen at the same time. Your baby hits 10 on the charisma scale and then suddenly doesn't need you as much for entertainment. I found this developmental stage to bring about an overwhelming amount of joy mixed in with a heaping spoonful of Mommy guilt. While it was a great relief to be able to sneak out of a room and get a few things done while Alexa entertained herself, it was really hard to break the habit of being Alexa's constant companion. At the end of the day, before drifting off to sleep, I couldn't stop asking myself, did I spend enough time with her today? Did I hug her enough today? Did I talk to her enough? Did she feel loved enough?

It's so completely illogical - that Alexa hit the developmental benchmark of independence (which I helped her achieve) and instead of celebrating her new found abilities I started second-guessing my mothering skills. It took a good part of the month, but I finally broke my guilt and shifted fully to joy by reminding myself that no one wants to be talked to, looked at or hugged 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So, I stopped feeling guilty about the time I finally had to do some work around the house and started soaking up every ounce of sunshine that our little girl's sparkling personality brings to the moments when we do play together.

Captain's Log Month Three:

-Don't know weight or height (I miss getting this info now that we're not doing monthly Dr. appt's)
-Sleeps from 8:30 p.m. to 6 a.m.
-Still wearing size 0-3 months
-Has kaleidoscope eyes (We have no idea what color they are. The two top guesses our friends share with us are gray-blue and green.)
-Has an equally ambiguous hair color, but has grown a new crop of it (Looks dark inside and light brown outside.)
-LOVES to talk and chats it up throughout the day
-Favorite toys are wrist rattles
-Has become obsessed with looking at our living room chandelier
-Appears to have a jubilant personality
-Has a hearty appetite for discovery - I call her my stare bear because she so intently watches everything that happens around her

Brrr. It's cold outside! Better bundle up!

Think I can swim out of here?