Big Day!
Even though I worked from home today, I still found time to take the lunchtime pictures. I don't know why she makes these funny faces when I take pictures. She has the prettiest and most delicate features, yet she tends to look like a dazed pumpkin head in every shot I take. Oh well, I think she's beautiful no matter what.
So, today I earned the honor of being a paid working Mom. For the record, I vehemently defend the fact that all Mom's work, whether it be in the home or outside the home. I was fortunate when I left my full-time job that I was able to secure contract work that allows me to work from home most of the time. I develop training sessions at home and then the only time I spend away from home is in the actual delivery of the training. It's been a pretty fabulous gig so far and it felt awesome today to be able to get a good portion of the training written, even when Alexa slept on my lap for awhile. It feels like the best of both worlds. Of course it'll get harder as Alexa is awake more during the day and requires more than two hours of play time, but I'll overcome that hurdle when it comes. Today I'll relish the fact that I was able to do work that I get paid for, have a fun and exciting play day with Alexa, eat a healthy lunch and dinner and listen to Picard's work stories when he got home. I guess the lesson from yesterday to today is you win some, you lose some. Here's to celebrating a win (for me and my big girl) with a tall glass of wine and some candy-like fruit snacks.
posted by Miss Dior @ 8:13 PM
1 Comments:
I totally understand your present line of thinking and self-analysis, Amie. I am going through the same process myself right now; as a recently retired person, I have ample time to reflect and ruminate on my weaknesses, as well as my strengths and passions. My self-assessment is based on finally having the time to look at myself. One thing I'm reasonably sure of: We perfectionists are, without doubt,our own worst enemies. There is no way we can do a half-"baked" job, shall we say,on almost any task, no matter how humble and simple that task is. As I look back on my earlier life, I am starting to understand why some people in my environs must have felt resentful, distant, or intimidated by me. If only they knew...inwardly I had the same kinds of doubts about my skills as a mother, a wife, a student, a teacher, a mentor, etc., as they did. The difference was that I appeared to exude a cocky and confident attitude, and instead of walking normally, I was often told that I tended to "strut" wherever I went. I also prided myself on having a clever sense of humor, so I generally tried to entertain other people rather than admit to any weakness,fears, or sorrows of my own. Those things were there in me, too, but I had too much at stake to admit it.
Without trying to sound arrogant, I wonder if our "disease" amounts to this: we think too much, and we tend to set too many (ultimate) goals for ourselves. In the meantime, many of the folks around us are happily drifting along and living their lives day by day. Why can't we do that?
Have you ever considered how great it must be to be a person who is satisfied with who they are, what they do, and what they get out of life...no matter what it is? As someone said in Fiddler on the Roof (I believe it was Tevye), "On the other hand..."
Just consider this: If God had put the two of us on earth to be average joe's, perhaps we would never have had any of these tumultuous thoughts or bothersome doubts. But he made us like this. We're different and it is our responsibility to touch other people's lives in the best ways we can. Yours, Mama-Pat
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