A Funeral, a Wedding & a Rebirth

I'm sorry I haven't been able to keep you more involved in this part of our journey. It's just that it's taken every ounce of mental, physical and emotional strength we have to get through most days lately. Once we've accomplished the 'getting through it' part of each day, there's little to no energy to go back and write about it to share with others.

Not that this has been a bad time. No not at all. Things are good. But even good things can cause stress and take an overwhelming amount of energy to complete.

At this point, I have finished my time at the non-profit agency I was working for, we have our living room 85% complete and we're really close to having our paperwork active for the adoption. I wanted to share with you the emotions I have felt as we've worked our way to this point.

A Funeral
I have put my heart and soul into my job for the past four years. I have helped women transform their lives and believe in themselves. It's the first job I've left where I really feel I'll leave a lasting legacy behind. In leaving that legacy, I had to train others to perform the tasks that I had done. I felt so much like a terminal cancer patient who makes a video for her children to remember her. As I shared with my co-workers my philosophies and future visions for the women we serve, I couldn't help but feel that a part of me was dying.

A Wedding
At the same time that my heart wept with sadness at leaving an organization I love; I couldn't help but celebrate all of the amazing things we had accomplished together. One week before my last day, our organization moved into a new facility that is three times the size of our former facility. Not only is the facility triple the size, but it is a truly gorgeous space that will allow our women to feel pampered every time they come through the front doors. As I looked around this new space in awe at the transformation we had accomplished, it reminded me of my wedding day. Nine years ago when I stood at the end of the church aisle ready to walk up and stand next to my darling Picard, I was overwhelmed with the futile attempt to remember every thought in my mind, every emotion I was experiencing and every smiling face that I passed. That's exactly how I felt looking at the new facility, a fluttering of my heart as I stood in the presence of something bigger than myself wanting to remember every last detail.

A Rebirth
Out of all of this, comes a newly born version of Miss Dior. As my eyes opened this morning and a smile crept across my face, I knew that I had awaken into the reincarnation of my life. I know the feeling well because I have experienced it many time before.....when I left horseracing for cosmetics, when I left cosmetics for a newspaper, when I left the newspaper for my master's degree and when I completed my master's degree and found the non-profit world. In this reincarnation, I will be a mother. And as a mother, I will embrace my life's purpose to make a difference in the world in bold and transformative ways.