"You could be parents much faster than with your existing China program"

Before I explain the quote above and the ensuing heartache it caused, I wanted to make sure that everyone knew that the matches have been issued for November. Most people in this batch actually got their referral on Monday, November 5, but I continue to find this time of the month so hard, it's taken me almost a week to share the information with you all.

Yes, CCAA is still matching families who logged their paperwork into China in 2005. They also continue to only match about one week of log-in dates at a time. This year they will have matched approximately four months of log-in dates. At that rate, we will not see our future child's face for five years. To see an even worse math formula, if you consider that the current trend is to match one week of log-in dates at a time, then we will be waiting a cool 7 years. Yep. You can probably understand why seeing these small batches each month is much more torturous than celebratory.

Adding insult to injury, Picard and I got a very bold letter this week from our home study (not adoption) agency suggesting we look at Vietnamese adoption because "at a time when Chinese adoptions seem to be confusing, this program should give you great confidence." The quote that is the title of this post is also from the letter. My first reaction to the letter was extreme irritation. It seemed very odd to me that we would be sent an unsolicited letter to switch programs/countries, especially considering we are not in decision mode, but rather waiting for child mode.

However, over the week the letter burned in my mind. Could this be a better option? Could we really learn to love another country the way we do China? Could we really get a healthy child that is only 4-7 months old? Could we really have a child in 5-10 months? Good Lord! Could we really be parents next year???????????

My head started swimming on Saturday with the possibilities, so I pulled out the letter and read it again. It really started to seem a viable option. So, the next logical step was to ask Picard what he thought. He said, "it sounds good to me, let's look into it." At that point, once he gave me the green light to do more research I floated into a cloud of happiness. Having a child started to feel real again. I started making plans. I made a huge mistake.

Right before we left our house to visit friends, I decided it was wise to check the price of this adoption process just so we could have some dollar figures in mind. When I went to the website, this is what I found:


Yep. Program closed. Heart broken. The fact the our home study agency sent us a letter promising us a child much faster (actually underlined in the letter) through a program that closed five days later is truly one of the cruelest business moves I have ever seen. I will be calling them.

What we did get out this experience is realizing that it is in our best interest to research other adoption options. Although things in China could change and shorten our wait, they also could not change. Worse, the program could close. All of this is real and possible. This doesn't mean we will switch programs, only that we will feel more empowered if we really know what our other options are.