Granny, is that you?

Ever feel like your special angel is watching over you? For me, that would have to be my Great-Grandmother (Granny). She was a tremendous influence on my life and I feel her near me in times of stress.

Lately I've found myself praying more. Not in a formal get on your knees sense, but more of a conversation between me and the man upstairs. For a few days last week, I prayed to have a dream about our future child. My last dream was such a sense of comfort to me for weeks. I've really craved that sense of peace and the feeling of "scooping up" our wee one.

This was my first prayer answered. Friday night I had a very long dream about our child. When I first woke the dream felt like a sense of prophecy because I had dreamed we were unexpectedly given an early referral. In fact, we were so surprised that we didn't tell anybody for two days. After being awake for awhile I realized the dream was less prophecy and more the funny banter of hopes and fears that constantly plays in my mind. For example, although I was ecstatic to get an early referral; I was surprised to find that our daughter had green eyes! I was so shocked they weren't brown. Then, I found out she was half Caucasian. I thought, I don't want a white baby! It was this dream that fueled my adoption obsession on Saturday which led to the disappointment of the letter.

After the Vietnam fiasco this weekend, I then prayed last night for God to give me a clear direction. I said, "I don't care what it is, just give me an idea where to go."

This was my second prayer answered. Today while recounting the Vietnam scandal with my boss, ladybugs started swarming us. I was hit twice in the face and two ladybugs crawled on my arms. If you've not heard, ladybugs are supposed to be a symbol of good luck in Chinese adoption and some say they signify a referral. (Not sure what it means when they smack you upside the head.)

So, you could scientifically say that I'm seeing what I want in the world and recreating it in my mind as signs. I would usually say that's possible, but today I say wait, there's more. As I recounted the ladybug tale to Picard while he sorted through the mail, he said "wait, you may want to read this first." He handed me an envelope FROM CHINA - pictured below. It is a notice that our immigration approval and pending visa has been accepted by China. This is a normal marker in the paperwork process at this point, but I had completely forgotten about it.


Finally, we also received a newsletter today from our agency and our Adoptive Families magazine with a picture of an adorable girl from China on the cover.


All of this reminds me of one of my favorite parables:

A flood is coming and a small town must be evacuated. One man is sure that God will save him so he refuses all help. First, rescuers come in large trucks and ask him to leave his home. He says, "I will stay with my home because God will protect me." The flood waters rise and the rescuers come back in a boat and say "Mister, please come with us, you'll die here." The man responds, "I will stay with my home and God will protect me." Finally, the rescuers make one final attempt by helicopter. They plead with the man to come with them or he will surely die. The man says one last time, "I'm sure that God will save me. I'm staying with my home."

The man drowns and dies. When he reaches the pearly gates he asks God, "why did you let me die? Why did you not come save me?" God says, "who do you think sent the truck, the boat and the helicopter?"

I've always thought that story was a great reminder to not dismiss the blessings in everyday life and not overlook signs that are meant to save us. So for today, I'll cherish my signs and the glimmer of hope that is being extended from beyond.