The Good Women of China

I've been working my way back through some of my favorite books about China. Sure, I could buy new ones, but the ones I have are so good that a second or third read is in order before moving on to new material. The book I'm reading now is "The Good Women of China," pictured above.

I had forgotten how moving this book is. It keeps me completely riveted. I often hear people ask, sometimes directly to me and sometimes to others, "how could a woman give up her baby girl?" This statement is usually followed by, "I could never imagine doing that." These statements are loaded with judgement and often times don't take into account the vast cultural differences between China and the United States. One chapter of this book is sure to shake you to your core and make understanding not only a baby girl's plight in China, but the grown women who give birth to them as well.

In the first chapter, a young girl is in a hospital. She has been sexually abused for years by her father. Her mother knows, but feels powerless to defend her little girl. The only way the girl can get away from the abuse is to hurt herself or make herself sick, so that she can go and stay at a hospital. During this particular hospital stay, she feels the first loving touch of her life....from a fly. Yes, a fly. She loves the way the fluttering feels on her skin. I don't want to give away the story, but it will bring tears to your eyes. All of the stories in this book are based on true accounts of women in China.

I guess I find this so fascinating right now because I've begun to think again not only of the wonderful child who will join our lives, but the woman who will have to give her up. It can be very hard to process the fact that the complete and utter joy of your life starts with a life-altering painful experience for someone else. Both Picard and I are committed to honoring our little girls first parents and the Chinese culture. We've been discussing lately whether we like the names "China Mommy and Daddy" or "Birth Mommy and Daddy" to refer to her other set of parents. It can be a very weird thing to think about another set of parents for people who don't interact with adopted children often, but is very important to honor these individuals in order to help the child with healthy development.

I strongly encourage everyone I know to read this book, even if just for enjoyment. It can be found on amazon.com.

Well, that's my soap box for the day. Thanks for letting me share my thoughts. For those of you who haven't heard, our immigration appointment for fingerprints is next Wednesday. The journey marches forward, one step at a time.